Tafi-tafiya, rayuwa tana ta juyawa. Ta mayar da hankalinta kan karatunta. Babu abinda tafi muradi a lokacin, kamar taga cewa ta kammala karatunta. Idan ta gama ne ta karbi takardun shaidar kammala karatunta, akwai wasu kadarorinta da a lokacin tasan Hajiya Hadiza zata damka mata su. Ba zata kara bukatar komi ba, zata tattara ta bar musu gidan da rayuwarsu.

Zata ninkaya a cikin duniya, koda kuwa zata je har bangon duniyar ne domin ta nemo mahaifiyarta ta koma wajenta da zama.

Tasan wadannan kadarorin da kudaden dake kulle a cikin bankinta, zasu ishesu su rayu ita da mahaifiyarta idan ma tana cikin wani hali kenan.

Tayi nisa a shirin da suke yi na tarbar jarabawarsu ta karshen first semester, data manta da AbdulMalik da kurar data kwasoshi. Hakan kuwa ba shi yake hanata raba dare cikin tunaninshi ba.
Hatta da Anty Ummy ma sai dai ta nemeta a waya. To da abin ma yayi zafi ta kashe wayar, tunda dama ba damunta tayi ba, sai Anty Aisha ce take kai mata wayarta su gaisa.

Cikin Anty Ummy yana cika wata tara, ta tattara ta dawo gida haihuwa. Nan gidan Anty Aisha din ta sauka saboda ya riga ya zame mata gida a yanzu.

Ganin farko da Kauthar ta mata bayan lokaci mai tsayi, don kuwa ko ta video call sun daina haduwa, sai data ji kwalla ta cika mata idanu. Anty Ummy din tayi wata irin kiba, wadda daga ganinta ba ta lafiya bace, kuma a cewarta lafiyarta lau daga ita har dan dake cikinta, basu da wata matsala. Jininta bai hau ba, yana nan a yadda ake son shi. Amma Kauthar bata yarda ba.

Ta rutsata a dakinta na da, tunda yana nan a yadda ta tafi ta barshi, tambayarta ta dinga yi akan ta fada mata abinda yake damunta, ko dai AbdulMalik baya bata kulawar data dace ne?

Anty Ummy kallon mamaki ta jefeta dashi, tace, “Kauthar! Wallahi Tallahi kinji rantsuwar musulmi, kulawar da AbdulMalik yake bani ni kaina bana baiwa kaina ita. Yana tattalina da abinda ke jikina tamkar ya dauki cikin ya maidashi jikinshi haka yake ji, don haka ki ma ajiye wannan zargi naki a gefe!”

Tayi kasa da kanta a kunyace, “Kiyi hakuri Anty Ummy, na damu ne da yawa wallahi. Ganinki a haka ya tayar min da hankali kwarai.”

Murmushi ta saki mai kwantar da hankali, ta tallabo fuskarta a cikin hannunta, “na sani Kauthar, na kuma fahimta. Sai dai wannan ba wata matsala bace, da na haihu zan koma yadda nake da, in shaa Allah.”

Sai ta gyada kai tana murmushi, “Allah Ya sauke min ke lafiya to Anty Ummy…. Ina ka gano min Anty Ummy ta haihu? Oh ni Kauthar, sai in zama uwa fa ko?” Sai suka kyalkyale da dariya su duka.

Daga nan kuma sai dokin baby ya shafe damuwar kumburin da tayi. Tun ma kafin asan ko menene tuni har Kauthar ta fara tanadin kaya, balle kuma uban gayyar baban cikin. Wani zuwa da zai yi ya lodo kayan shake da bayan booth din mota, har da abubuwan wasanni. Ita kanta Anty Aisha sai da abin ya bata dariya. Aka tattare kayan aka libgesu a dakin Anty Ummy.

Rayuwa aba ce mai cike da kalubale iri-iri, haihuwa ma kuwa haka take. Kamar siradi ne wanda tsallakeshi sai wanda Allah Yaso.

Lokaci guda nakuda ta tayarwa Anty Ummy, babu bata lokaci aka dauketa aka nufi asibiti da ita. Wasa-wasa har sai data kwana ta yini.

Ana yanke shawarar kawai ayi aiki a fitar da dan, ta haihu, sai dai d’an bai zo da rai ba, itama kuma uwar tana cikin halin mutuwa da rayuwa. Da kyar aka samu aka tsayar da jinin daya tsinke mata. Wani iko na Allah, kafin ma su gama jimami da kukan rashin dan jinjiri da suka yi, likita ya sake koma musu da wani mummunan bakin labari, itama mahaifiyar ta bi bayanshi!

AbdulMalik ya bi bango ya silale kasa a matukar gigice wanda Ya sanya shi fara sakin sambatu marassa kan gado. Kauthar kam tana daga zaune sai ganinta aka yi ta zube kasa a sume!

Anty Aisha sai ta rasa wanda zata nufa a tsakaninsu. Ita kanta tsabar taurin rai ne da dauriya bai sa ta zube kasan ba.

Ta kira gidansu, kafin kace me, yan uwansu sun yiwa asibitin cincirindo. Aka basu gawarwakin bayan sunyi duk cike-cike daya kamata ayi.

Idan aka ce Kauthar tayi dan karamin hauka a wannan lokaci, ba ayi karya ba, don kuwa tayi din. Idan ta kai gauro ta kai mari, ta rasa abin cewa, sai kawai ta hau gyada kai ko girgiza kai. A haka aka ja ta kamar wata mutum-mutumi, aka tura a mota aka nufi can ainihin gidansu Anty Aisha inda za ayi musu sutura a kaisu makwancinsu na gaskiya.

AbdulMalik ya tashi daga ‘dazed state’ daya fada, gashi nan idan ka ganshi kasan bashi da nutsuwa ko kwanciyar hankali, ikon Allah ne kadai yake tafiyar dashi har yake iya functioning, a yawancin abubuwa sai dai kawai ya zuba maka idanu yana kallo kamar ma baya fahimtar abinda kake cewa.

Har aka yi sutura aka gama komi, Kauthar ba zata ce ga yanayin da take ciki ba. Kukan ma da taga yawancin mutane da yan uwan marigayiyar suna yi, kasawa tayi, watakila da tayi ma da zata dan ji sanyi a ranta.

Haka suka zauna karbar gaisuwa, a duk inda ta samu ta zauna bata ko motsi sai taji kiran sallah. Ba a ma maganar cin abinci ko shan ruwa. Juyin duniya babu wanda Anty Ummy bata yi mata ba amma a banza, taki cin komi. Sai da Hajiya Babba mahaifiyarsu Anty Aisha din ta sameta ana kwana biyu da rasuwar, ta mata fada sosai da sosai,

Tace, “ashe ma wayonki da hankalinki da nake gani na banza ne! Tunda har ba zaki iya tawakkali ba ki dauki hakuri? Ita Fahima din kin fi Allah sonta ne? Ko kuwa kin fini sonta ni dana tsuguna na haifeta? Cikinmu wa kika gani yana kokarin kashe kanshi saboda mutuwarta? To kul, ki kiyayeni!”

Ta tura mata kwanon abinci da gorar ruwa, haka nan ta sanya hannu cikin mutuwar jiki, ta fara kai abincin bakinta ba wai don tana jin dadin shi ba.

Sai da Hajiya Babba taga ta kusa cinyewa har tana yunkurin amai, sannan ta tashi ta kyaleta.

Bata sanya idanunta cikin na AbdulMalik ba sai washegari ranar addu’ar uku.
Suka shiga cikin gidan suka kara yin gaisuwa da safe.

Tana rakube a can karshen dakin masaukin baki, daga ita sai Anty Aisha da su Mahmoud kawai a lokacin.

Ta daga kai tana kallonshi, fuskarshi ta cike da gashi da gargasa marasa fasali, alamun daina basu kulawa da aka yi. Ya rame, ya kara baki, idanunshi sunyi zuru-zuru ga wani ja da suka yi, ko dai na kuka ko kuma na rashin barci. Wadannan giant kafadu nashi da a kodayaushe suna a dage cikin izza da kasaita, sun koma sunyi sagging, sai taji wani abu yana taso mata a cikin ranta. Tsakanin ita da shi ta rasa wanda za a fi tausayawa.
Suka durkusa shi da wani abokinshi Mubaarak suka gaida Anty Aisha suka kara yi mata gaisuwa, ta amsa cikin sanyin murya da jiki. Ita da AbdulMalik din kowa yana kukan zuci, da yake jarumar macece, sai ita ta koma tana kara yiwa AbdulMalik din nasiha da nuna mishi tasirin yarda da kaddara mai kyau ko marar kyau.

Mubaarak ya tashi ya fita, su Mahmoud suka bi bayanshi saboda a dan zaman da suka yi sun saba da shi sosai. Bayan Anty Aisha din ta gama mishi nasiha, itama sai ta tashi ta basu waje.

Suka tsaya suna kallon-kallo a tsakaninsu, babu mai tankawa wani.

Shi ya fara katse musu hanzari, ya tashi ya dan matsa kusa da ita, ya durkusa a gefenta kadan.

Muryarshi tayi sanyi a lokacin, shake take da tausayin Kauthar daya cika mishi zuciya ganin yadda ta zama kamar ba ita ba. Kamar ba wannan cherry budurwar daya sani ba, wadda kodayaushe ba zaka rasa murmushi a kan fuskarta ba, idan ka ganta sai ka rantse da Allah bata taba sanin wani abu wai shi damuwa ko bakin ciki ba.

Amma a yanzu idan ka ganta sai kace wani abu mai kama da murmushi ko farinciki bai taba ziyartarta ba. Tayi mishi kama da wadda duniyarta gabadaya ta rugurguje tayo kasa.

Daya daga baki, sai ya kasa magana ma, ya rasa abinda zai ce. Daya samu sautin, “Kauthar…”

Ya fita daga bakin nashi da kyar, sai taji kawai tayi reaching limit dinta. Kwalla ta zubo mata da wani irin sanyi a cikin ranta wanda bata taba jin kamarsa a fadin rayuwarta ba.

Ta sanya tafukan hannayenta ta rufe fuskarta ta saki wani irin kuka mara sauti, sai rishin kukan kawai mai dauke da wata irin rawar jiki kamar mai masassara.

Allah kadai Yasan iyaka lokacin da suka kwashe a haka, tana kukan shi kuma yana aikin kallonta cikin karyewar zuciya.
Daga karshe ma dai sai ya kara matsawa kusa da ita, ya sanya hannu ya tattagota gabadayanta cikin jikinshi, kanta a kan kafadarshi, ya sanya hannu yana dan bubbuga bayanta cikin alamun lallashi. Bata iya tabuka komi ba, har zuwa lokacin da kukan ya lafa ya zama shessheka.

Daya dago da kanta sama, sai taga shima tashi fuskar cike take da hawaye, abinda bata taba zaton gani a wajen mutum kamar shi ba.

Ya sanya hannu cikin aljihunshi ya ciro hankici ya mika mata, ta kalli hankicin kamar ba zata karba ba, sai kuma ta amsa, ta kai fuskarta tana goge hawayen fuskarta. Amma tana gogewa din wasu kuma suna kara gangarowa.

Maganarshi ta karshe da ita a wannan lokaci itace,

“Allah Ya jikan Faheema! Allah baya barin rai don wani yaji dadi… She was such a beautiful soul, a dedicated wife…. Allah Yayi mata rahama… I’m so sorry Kauthar! Ke aka yiwa rasuwa!”

Ya karashe fadi wasu hawayen na kwaranyo mishi a fuska. Daga haka ya juya ya bar dakin.

Ta bishi da kallo hawaye na mata zarya a fuska itama.

*****

Kwanansu bakwai anan gidan, kafin suka juya suka koma nasu gidan.

Gabadaya gidan da duniyar ma suka ki yiwa Kauthar dadi. Ko kadan ta kasa fahimtar inda kanta yayi. Duk inda ta juya sai taga kamar zata iya ganin gilmawar Anty Ummy.

Abun yayi munin da sai data kai ga ta fara ganin giccinta da jin maganarta (hallucination), ga mafarkai marasa kan gado da take yi game da ita.
Babu shiri ko neman izini ta kada kanta tayi Saudiyya wajen Hajiya Hadiza, don kam ba zata iya ba sam.

Bata tashi tunawa da zancen jarabawa da suke tsakiyar yi ba sai da tayi kwana da kwanaki acan sannan.

Wannan zuwa da tayi taji dadinshi ba laifi, Hajiya Hadiza tana ji da ita sosai, tana tattalinta. Sai taji sanyi da natsuwar zuciya sun shigeta sosai da sosai.

A koda yaushe ta kasance bakinta baya gajiya da nemawa Anty Ummy rahamar Allah. Ba zata taba mantawa da ita da karamcinta ba, tasan with time, ciwon rasuwarta zai ragu a cikin ranta, amma ba zai taba gushewa ba.

Sai data kwashe watanni biyu cur acan kafin tayi harama ta koma gida.

Taje makaranta ta tarar da tarin carry over rututu na courses dinta na wannan semester, spill over ya kamata. Wannan daliline yasa sai data kara shekara guda kafin ta gama makaranta.
Ko sati biyu bata yi da dawowa ba, watarana ta fito daga inda take koyon sign language dinta, kamar da wasa ta hangi abinda ya gigitata, ya kuma daure mata kai a lokaci guda.

Kamar AbdulMalik ta hanga a can kofar social center na makarantar, da yammacin ranar likis rana tana shirin faduwa, rungume da wata budurwa a jikinshi, ko kuwa ma har da sumbata ta gani?

Ta kasa yardarwa kanta sai data matsa kusa sosai, taga motarshi kuma wadda ta sanshi da ita.

Anan ta sake sakewa da al’amarin ‘da namiji. Hakika kam bai kyauta ba ko kadan idan har abinda take tunani haka ne.

Akan idanunta ya kama hannun yarinyar ya sanyata a mota, ya shiga ya tada motar ya bar wajen.
Allah Ya sani ta jima a tsaye a wajen ta rasa abinyi, kamar wata sassaken itace haka ta zama.

Fadar ranta ya sosu ma bata baki ne. Ta yaya zai yiwa Anty Ummy haka? Anya a duniya akwai mutum maciyin amana kamar AbdulMalik ma kuwa?

Ace matarka ko wata uku bata gama yi ba da rasuwa, amma har ka rufe babinta ka nemi wata, har ka fito filin Allah kana nuna affection?

Don haka ta kwasheshi da al’amuranshi ta watsa a kwandon shara. Dan sauran mutuncinshi daya rage a cikin idanunta tuni ya washe, ya wuce.

Ta sake komawa ta rungumi karatunta babu kama hannun yaro. Su kansu mutanen gidan sai da tayi watsi dasu, ya zamana sai su kwashe fiye da kwanaki uku ma basu ga giccinta ba a cikin gidan.

Bayan duk wannan kokari da fadi-tashi data sha, da gwagwarmayar rayuwa data sha, tuni ta riga ta gama tsara yadda rayuwarta zata kasance bayan ta gama karatun, shine kuma za a zo mata da wani kalar zance marar dadin ji?

Ina ita ina iya auren AbdulMalik? Mutumin da once upon a time ya kasance duniyar matar da take gani kuma ta rika a matsayin yar uwarta?

Mutumin da duk da ba zata ce ta tsana ba, amma tayi distating dinshi with all her being?

Ta ina zata iya rayuwar aure dashi? Ta yaya?

Gani take yi faruwar hakan kamar wani abu ne mai kamar da wuya, wai gurguwa da auren nesa.

To amma idan bata aureshi din ba ina zata je? Ina zata nufa? Wa gareta? Mahaifiyar da bata sani ba? Ko kuwa dangin da bata san ta inda zata lalubosu ba?

Abu ne da tasan dole ta tsaya a matsaya guda daya wadda zata fissheta, kafin lokacin da Anty Aisha ta debar mata ya cika.

Washegari ta tashi da matsanancin ciwon kai na bari guda, musamman gefen kunnenta na dama. Wani irin yuuu! Take ji yana mata kamar tashin guguwa.

Ta shiga makaranta duk da cewa bata da jarabawa a ranar. Bayan ta gama gudanar da abubuwan da zata yi, kai tsaye wani karamin asibiti ta wuce na kunne da ido.
Ta samu likita tayi mata bayanin abinda yake damunta. Kai tsaye wajen awo aka turata, bayan dogayen tests kusan guda hudu, ta sake nabba’a a gaban likitar tana yi mata bayanin tests din da aka mata.

Hoton kunnenta ne gaba daya da aka yi ta bude a gabanta tana bayani tana nuna mata daki-daki.

In conclusion dai, ce mata tayi ta shirya kanta, kunnen ya riga ya gama damejin da antibiotics da sauran therapy da ake mata zai daina amfani, jinta zai dauke.

Ba karamar sa’a ce zata ceto daya kunnen nata ba wanda shima ya gama harbuwa.
Nan da zuwa wani kayyadadden lokaci shima gaba daya jin zai dauke.

Ta dai rubuta mata magunguna da zata fara amfani dasu saboda ciwon kai da kunnen, da shawara akan yadda zata dinga kulawa da kunnen dai.

A parking lot ta tsaya a cikin motarta tayi jim! Kanta cike da tunanika da taraddadi. Ta jima a ciki kafin daga karshe dai ta tashi motar ta dauki hanyar komawa gida.

Akan hanyar ta yanke shawara. Fata take yi da dukkan yawun bakinta, Allah Yasa bata zabi abinda zai dawo ya cijeta a gefen hannunta ba. She hoped it wouldn’t become her doom!

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