Faruq’s POV
Sitting at the edge of my bathtub, I stare into the dimly lit bathroom. The only source of light is a weak bulb casting shadows everywhere. Holding a cigarette between my fingers, I watch the glowing tip burn in the darkness. Inhaling deeply, the smoke fills my lungs, reminding me of what I desire. This simple act brings me comfort, helping me forget the past. I made sure the bathroom was always dark. There is this satisfaction I always derived from just sitting in the dark and staring at nothingness whilst letting the smoke fill me up completely.
“Wait for your sister Faruq and I mean it!” Ammi yelled through the door to my room but I pretended not to hear that. I was going to pick up Haleema before we headed to the school and even though I knew Jiddah was going to the same place as us, I could not have both of them in the car. I would become invisible and their girly chatters would irritate me so I would rather Jiddah go with the driver. Besides, I needed my woman to myself.
I threw the cigarette into the toilet and heard the soft hush as it burned out. I ran the water and watched as it flushed it out.
It was the same routine for me every morning. Smoking and flushing it down the toilet. I wanted to quit but I didn’t know how to. It was my only relief point. It calmed my nerves whenever the anger threatened to erupt. It was what pushed the thoughts and hate away. What surprised me was that even after six years, Ammi and Abba had yet to find out I smoke but Jiddah does. She once sneaked up on me and the corrupt girl kept on blackmailing me just to keep my secret hidden. Although I sometimes believe Ammi knows I smoke, she has never confronted me. I mean, she wouldn’t dare knowing she was the genesis of my problem but I could never bring myself to smoke in their presence. It was a relief that I had an entire flat to myself just behind the main house and hardly Ammi and Abba barged in except for Jiddah which explains how she caught me red-handed.
I took a quick shower and came out of the bathroom, making sure to wipe my foot on the doormat to avoid water all over the room. It was a little after 9 am and my lecture time was not until eleven but I needed to spend time with Haleema first.
I picked up my phone and dialed her number and almost immediately, she picked.
“Assalamu alaikum“. Her soft voice came through, sounding like a whisper in my ears. I imagined her blushing even without seeing me.
“I am lost”. I simply said.
“Huh?” I imagined her scrunching up her nose in a confused manner. “Lost? How?”
I laughed softly. “I don’t know what to wear. I am standing stark naked in front of the mirror waiting for you to choose my outfit”.
“God Faruq!” She gasped. “Have some dignity!”.
“I lost my dignity since the first day I met you”.
She laughed softly. “I don’t know what to do with you”.
“Keep loving me”.
“Of course I will”. She hummed. “Can I have the options for your choice of clothes? Like is it traditional wear or corporate”.
“Both. I have this Brown Kaftan, a Black suit, and a Brown tie”.
“The suit!” She chimed.
“You know I hate wearing suits”. I frowned.
“Exactly why I choose it. I hardly see you in one”
“Fine”. I groaned. “Remind me to just put on my clothes without asking for your opinion again”.
“As you wish”. She laughed.
“I love you”. I sighed.
“See you soon”. She replied instead.
“I said I love you”.
“And you know I love you too”. She giggled and hung up.
I picked out the Black suit and dressed into it, adjusting my tie in front of a large mirror on the wall and brushing my hair. Satisfied with what I saw, I put on the wristwatch Haleema gave to me as a birthday gift a year ago. Ever since she bought me the watch, it had been my favorite and I wouldn’t part with it. I slipped into my cover shoe and headed into the main house.
Ammi and Abba were already in the dining having breakfast. I slipped into my usual seat and picked a slice of bread before stuffing it into my mouth.
“Good morning Ammi”. I greeted. I didn’t bother to look at Abba, we were together during Subh prayer.
“Are we going to pretend as if you didn’t hear what I said earlier?” Ammi said as she passed me a cup of tea. I grunted a thank you and sipped it.
“Was that why you came to my side just to tell me that? Haba Ammi. You’ve spoiled this girl too much”. I snorted.
“I am all set”. Jidda announced her presence as she joined us. I glared at her while my mind was spinning fast, thinking of ways I could leave without her.
“I was just telling your brother not to leave without you”. Ammi said to her.
“Do I have to take her everywhere? I mean she is 18 for Allah’s sake and the driver can take her there”.
“It is not about her age Faruq”. Ammi frowned. “What is the essence of you going to the same place in different cars when she can just go in yours?”.
“I am not a babysitter”. I muttered.
“Ammi do not mind Yaya Faruq. I know why he doesn’t want me to go with him. He is going to pick up Haleema and he doesn’t…”.
“Will you shut up?” I meant to hit her but she averted it.
“Oh, is that so?” Ammi smiled. “Do bring her to see me after school, will you? I can’t remember the last time she visited us”.
“Yes Please, bring her over”. Abba said. It was the first time he said anything since I joined them at the table. “I would also want us to go through some documents later”.
“Aren’t you going to work?” I asked him.
“No. I don’t think so”. He replied. “Just try and come back early”.
“I will. See you later”. I said and stood up. Jiddah did the same. I groaned and headed out, with her trailing right behind me.
I got into the car and started the ignition key and waited for the gateman to open the gate. I refused to move when I saw Jiddah open the back door and get in. Our eyes met in the review mirror and I raised a brow.
“What is it?” She asked, trying to hide the mischievous grin spreading on her lips. She knew I wouldn’t have taken her if not for Ammi’s intervention and she wanted to tease me.
“I am not your driver. Come to the front”. I gritted my teeth.
“Oh”. She giggled. “Is that why you want to murder me with your eyes? I was just doing myself a favor because I know you would chase me to the back when we eventually pick Haleema”.
“I don’t have time for this. Come to the front”. I said curtly.
Jiddah shrugged and came out, slamming the door behind her and before she could touch the front door, I put the car on auto lock, winked at her, and zoomed out of the compound. I laughed when I saw the shocked expression on her face.
I drove, laughing at what happened a while back. Jiddah would cry, I was sure of it. I ignored my phone which was ringing in my pocket knowing it must be Ammi calling. I would rather face her wrath later than let her talk me into going back for Jiddah.
I drove to Haleema’s house and parked at the compound when their gateman let me in. I walked up to their front door and collided with Haleema who was rushing to get out of the house.
“Wooh, Hajiya lafiya?” I asked, looking at her beautiful eyes. It was the first thing that captivated me when I first saw her. It was warm, comforting, and innocent.
“Let go”. She said and I shook my head.
“You know I can’t leave without greeting Dad first. Shall we?”. I said, gesturing for her to lead me into the living room but she refused. I shrugged and walked into the house.
I breathed in the familiar scent of the living room and almost immediately, Haleema’s father came in. There was always this feeling of familiarity I felt whenever I saw him. It always felt like, I’d met him somewhere but the scar on his face was something I’d not seen on someone before and I tried to push the feeling away.
“Faruq”. He said smiling and wiping his hand with a towel. “Sorry, I can’t shake your hand. I am covered in oil”.
“It’s okay Sir. Good morning Baba“. I squatted to greet him.
“Please have a seat”. He said and sat on the opposite chair to where I was.
“How are your parents and Jiddah?” Her Dad asked.
“They are all great Sir. Thank you.”
“Let me make us some coffee and we can have a little chat before you leave.”
“No, please”. I shook my head and stood up. “We have to be at school now. Some other time Sir, Insha Allah.”
“Alright. Be safe.” He said and walked me to the door. “Please take care of her.”
I nodded and walked away. He tells me that anytime we meet and I vowed to, even if he didn’t. I love Haleema; with my whole being and I promised to take care of her.
Besides, I wouldn’t dare hurt her. From the looks of her Dad, he would stop at nothing to hurt anyone who dared hurt his daughter. He has been in the military for so long and I would be gone with a snap of his fingers.
I walked towards where she was, biting off her finger unconsciously as she tried not to look at me or her Dad.
