Wannan shafin sadaukarwa ne ga duka daukacin iyaye.

*****

Sai ace jiki daya gareka, ruhi daya, zuciya daya. Ba musanta hakan Yelwa take sonyi ba, tarin tambayoyi ne take dasu kawai, tun daga lokacin da ta hadu da Kabiru, ta dauka wani kasone mai girma daga zuciyarta ya mamaye, sai da rabuwarsu ta risketa cikin yanayin da ta hango, amman bai sa zafin rabuwar ya rage mata ba. Sai taji ba mamaye wannan kason mai girma na zuciyarta Kabiru yayi ba, saboda idan mamaye shi yayi zataji alamar shi da basa tare, zata rantse ko hannunta ta dora akan kirjinta, inda zuciyarta take tana iya jin fadin filin daya bari, kason yana tare dashi, da kason ya tafi yana bar mata filin daya taba zama. Sai kuma sauran abinda ya rage mata da yake wani irin ciwo, ciwo da ba zata misalta ba.

Da kason daya tafi dashi, da kuma wanda ya rage mata, kenan ya hada zuciya kwara daya kenan a dunkule, meye takeji yana dokawa yan uwanta? Dame take son Julde? Julde da har yanzun idan aka raba yar duniyarta kashi uku, zai kwashe kaso biyu daga ciki, meye yake dokawa Daadarta? Baban fa? Me ya karya lokacin daya rabata da Kabiru? Meya karya a lokacin daya ja mata Allah ya isa yana kara kaurinta da wasu maganganun marassa dadin maimaitawa. Meye Baba ya karya lokacin da ya toshe kunnuwanshi daga duk rokon da take masa akan karya hadata aure da Modibbo? Ba zai yiwuwa ace zuciya daya ce take dauke da duk wannan bangarorin ba, zuciyarta da wani sashi ce a gabaki daya jikinta.

Ruhin kuma fa? Sau nawa tana jin fitar shi daga jikinta ya koma gefe yana kallon abinda yake faruwa kamar basu da alaka, kuma a lokacin tana jin shige da ficen numfashinta, alamar akwai rai a tare da ita. Yanzun kuma fa? Yau kuma fa? Yau da ta tsallake komai, ta tsallake kowa, a karo na farko kuma ta saka kafarta a wajen Marake gabaki dayanta. Yau da tun da ta dauki mayafinta, tabi ta tsakanin mutane a taron bikinta, taji tabar wani abu daya girmi jikinta a cikin dakin nan, bayan kalaman Daada

“Kowanne mai rai da zaki gani da tashi kaddarar Yelwa, ba ko yaushe bane abinda kake so yake alkhairi a tare da kai ba, ba kuma ko yaushe bane abinda kake ki yake sharri a wajenka, komai yana iya juyewa. Shisa ake so kaso kadan, ka kuma qi kadan. Kiyi hakuri tunda har anzo gabar nan. Datti na da taurin kai na sani, amman yana kaunarku, idan kika ture sabanin kankanin lokacin nan ke da kanki kinsan akaf duniyar shi babu kamar ku, yanayi miki abinda yake ganin shine iya gatan da zai iya baki…”

Tana jin yanda Dije ta kara sauke murya tana cigaba da fadin,

“Idan kinganshi yau, ki kalle shi, ki kalle shi sosai Yelwa kiga yanda yafi ki jin ciwon wannan abubuwan da suke faruwa. Dan Allah ki kwantar da hankalinki.”

Kai ta daga kamar ta ji, kamar kalaman sunyi tasiri a zuciyarta. Kamar bata gama yanke hukunci tsallake gabaki dayansu ba. Idan tace tun da aka rabata da Kabiru bata hakura dashi ba zatayi karya, bata son Modibbo, koma rana daya batajin zata taba son shi. Bata kara sanin daura aurenta da Modibbo dai-dai yake da yanke mata hukuncin kisa ba sai satika biyu kafin auren da ta fita, ta fita da sunan shiga wajen Saratu, ta mike hanya batare da tasan inda ta nufa ba. Iska take nema, so take tayi numfashi taji yakai mata inda ya kamata ya kai mata, tayi numfashi batare da taji kamar kanta zai rabe gida biyu da yanayin da ya cunkushe shi ba.

A can kasan zuciyarta wata murya na fada mata,

“Idan kika cigaba da tafiya fa shikenan, zaki bar komai, zaki gujema auren Modibbo, kici gaba da tafiya karki juya, karki taba juyawa, akwai iska daban, komai zaiyi sauki in dai baki juya ba, ciwon da kike ji zai tsaya in dai kika cigaba da tafiya.”

Muryar kamar ta kara mata bugun zuciyarta, ta kuma karawa kafafuwanta saurin cikin tafiyar da takeyi, saurin daya sakata yin tuntube.

“Yelwa”

Muryar nan ta daki kunnuwanta, muryar shi, muryar Kabiru. Bawai batajin ta a cikin kanta bane ba, yau dai sai taji kamar saida ta daki kunnuwanta ne sannan takaiwa kanta tana saukowa cikin zuciyarta, ta kada iska a cikin filin da rashin shi yabar mata.

“Yelwa…”

Ya sake kira yana jan sunan cikin sigar da ta sakata juyawa, ta kuwa sauke idanuwanta cikin nashi, tana yawatawa dasu kan fuskar shi, zuciyarta ta dunkule waje daya, ta gangaro daga kirjinta tayo kasa tana karasawa inda yake tsaye kafin ta tarwatse.

“Yelwa”

Wannan karin ya kira da wani irin yanayi mai nauyi, yanayin daya nuna har cikin idanuwanta, yanayin da yayi dai-dai da kamar ya kwashe bangarorin zuciyarta data tarwatse, ya riritasu cikin hannuwan shi ya mika dai-dai kirjinta, yana mayar mata da ita a mazauninta. Sai taja wani numfashi, ta sauke shi tare da abubuwa masu yawa.

Ashe karya tayiwa kanta.
Da tace hango zata iya rayuwa babu shi.
Yaudarar kanta tayi.
Da ta dauka akwai wata rayuwa mai sauki da basa karkashin inuwa daya a tare.

“Na kasa Yelwa, nabi zabinsu, na aureta kamar yanda suka bukata. Ya zanyi? Kullum fuskarki nake nema a cikin tata, idan tayi kokarin kyautata mun dake nake son kasancewa ko da rashin kirki zakiyi mun… Sai na saketa, na saketa jiya, kowa ya juyamun baya yau.”

Ya karasa yana sauke numfashi hadi da sake saka idanuwan shi cikin nata.

“Ya zanyi? Wanne irin so ne wannan da lokaci yaki rage zafin shi?”

Kafadu tadan daga masa, wasu hawaye masu zafi na zubo mata.

“Baba ba zai bani ke ba ko?”

Kai ta daga masa, wani abu na tokare mata makoshi yana hana kalaman da suke cikin kanta su fito, shima hannuwan shi ya saka yana rufe fuskar shi dasu, kamar hawaye yake nema, nashi su zuba kamar yanda nata suke zuba ko zai samu sauki. Kafin ya dago da idanuwan shi da suka sake launi lokaci daya.

A wannan ranar
A wannan tsayuwar
A tsakanin hawayenta da bushewar idanuwan shi.
Suka yanke hukuncin daya kawosu inda suke yau.

Su gudu
Su ka gudu.

Ya saka hannunshi cikin nata bayan sun zauna a motar da Yelwa bata cikin nutsuwar da zataji inda suka nufa. Ya dai biya kudi sun kuma shiga, tana jin dumin hannun shi da zufa na ratsawa ta jijiyoyin nata hannun har zuwa zuciyarta da take cike da wani irin hargitsi. Karo na farko da ta rike hannun wani namiji da ba muharraminta ba, dumin sai yayi mata daban, a lokaci daya kuma yayi mata kama da wani abu, wani abu kamar zunubi, wani abu kamar kuskuren da zata iyayin dana sanin shi a gaba, wani abu kamar kuskuren da lokacin gyara shi ya kure mata.

*****
“Zan kara aure Saratu.”

Ya fada mata, saboda ko babu soyayya a zamansu ta haifa mishi Salim, akwai tsohon cikin shi a yanzun, tana shirin sake haifo masa na biyu. Tana shirin sake shafe wani daren, ko wasu kwanakin a dakin da ba zaka juyo komai banda nishinta ba. A wahalar da tasha, a irin tashin hankalin daya shiga shi kanshi sai da zuciyar shi tayo tsalle zuwa makoshin shi ranar daya ga tana amai. Daga inda yake tsaye cikin firgici ya kasa karasawa wajenta balle ma yayi mata sannu yake mata ihu cikin kanshi.

“Wani cikin Saratu? Bakya tausayin jikin ki? Ina kika samo karfin zuciyar sake shafe wasu awanni cikin ciwo na nakuda?”

Kamar cikin ita ta bawa kanta shi, ita kadai ta yanke hukuncin samun shi, bashi da wata rawa daya taka. Sai dai iya laulayin da tayi na wannan cikin ya daga darajar mace a idanuwan shi ta wani fanni da sai yanzun zuciyar shi ta bude ya fahimta. Karfin hali da Allah yayi wa mace mai girma ne. Ya tabbata inda shi ya sha wahalar da tasha lokacin haihuwar Salim, da ba shimfida kawai zasu rababa harda gida.

“Ke na fara fadawa…”

Ya dora kamar hakan ya isa ya wanke mata ciwon daya dirar mata, wani irin ciwo daya soki kahon zuciyarta har abinda yake cikinta ya amsa. Kishi na ban mamaki nasa har duhu-duhu take gani. Tasani, duk fitar da zaiyi sai zuciyarta tayi ciwo, sai tunani daban-daban ya ziyarceta, dawa yake raba mata kanshi? Wacece shimfida daya dashi yana nuna mata abinda take dauka soyayyar shi ce mai tsayawa a zuciya. Waya rike a jikin shi? Balle kuma taji kamshin shi ya bambanta, tasan wata ta kwanta a kirjin daya kamata ya zama wajenta ne ita kadai, hannuwan shi ita kadai suke yiwa rumfa sai yaran su idan ya dauke shi, sai sauran da zata haifo masa saboda ita kadai Hammadi ya haifa, ita kadai tana da burin cika gidanta da zuri’ar da take fatan a nade duniyar da wani daga jinin Hammadi a cikinta.

Yau kuma abinda take takama zata nunawa sauran matan da yake bi, tayi tinkaho dashi. Idan hanya ta hadasu ta daga Salim ta nuna musu, yanda take da wani bangare na Julde da a cikinsu babu wanda zai taba samu. Yanda jininta da jininshi suke yawo a jikin Salim din. Ta ajiye shi a gefe ta fada musu yanda duka Marake kowa ya shaida auren su, kowa ta wuce zai kirata da matar shi, wani abu da babu macen da zata taba samu. Shine yake fada mata zata raba da wata? Gidanta, gidansu, wata zai kawo ya saka a ciki?

“Wacece?”

Ta tambaya a tsakanin numfashi.

“Julde wacece? Wa zaka aura?”

Ta karasa tana kallon shi, tana so taji, da wa zai rabata mata abu daya da ta dauka mallakinta ne har abada.

“Mero…yar uwar Bukar ce.”

Batasan dariya ta kubce mata ba, ba kuma zatace ga daga inda ta fito ba. Daman mana, ta saba raba abubuwa da Bukar, ciki harda Hammadi, harda mahaifinta da ta taso ta ga yana nuna ma Bukar kalar kaunar da bai taba nuna mata ba, yana cire hannunshi daga kan abinda yake ci ya tura a gaban Bukar din bayan tana zaune a gefen shi. Taji yanda uwar rikonta, yanda Abu bata da sunan da take ambata sai Bukar. Kamar shine abu mafi kyawu da bashida wani gurbataccen yanayi a tare dashi da suka fara gani a rayuwar su, kamar a idanuwansu babu yaron da nagartar shi zata isa idanuwan su balle har su aunata da ta Bukar.

Tunda taga Datti ya tsane shi ta fara tayashi saboda a wajenta, tsanar da Datti yayi masa kawai ta isheta, sai ya hada da wani irin kishin shi da takeyi. Saboda ta tsani raba abubuwan da take tunanin natane da wasu, ta tsani hakan fiye da komai a duniya. Da ya yanke hukuncin tafiya tafi kowa murna, tafi kowa addu’ar idan ya tafi karya dawo, ya zauna can har abada, ya fita daga rayuwar su. Sai gashi lokaci zuwa lokaci saiya dawo, saiya kara tuna mata da yanda ta tsane shi, ta tsani murmushin shi da kamar baisan wata damuwa a duniya ba. Son da Julde yake masa bai isa ba? Bai isa ba sai Julden ya auro mata yar uwar Bukar? Me yasa babu wani abu na alkhairi da yake tare da Bukar ne?

Tsanar shi ce ta ninku a zuciyarta kamar shi zai dauki auren Mero ya bawa Julde.

“Ka fita Julde, ka fita karka dawo na wasu kwanaki bana son ganinka wallahi”

Ta karasa muryarta na karyewa

“Saratu…”

Ya kira muryar shi cike da wani irin taushi.

“Haukana kake son gani? Kalar haukan da ko a labarai baka taba cin karo dashi ba? Ka cigaba da tsaya mun a cikin dakin bayan na baka zabin da bani dashi!”

Ta karasa cikin wani irin karaji daya saka shi fita daga dakin, badan yana tsoronta ba, sai don abu biyu, cikin dake jikinta, da kuma matsayin daya san tana dashi a wajen Datti, Datti da yake so ya tsaya masa a wajen neman auren Mero, ba zaiso ganin haukan da take ikirari ba, wannan karin babu riba a cikin biye mata. Shisa ya fita yana bata lokacin data nuna masa tana bukata. Har zuwa lokacin da Datti yaje nema masa auren Mero, da ga mamakin su dukansu ba’a hana masa ba. Abinda basu sani ba su duka shine babu yanda Musa baiyi da Mero ba. Har karatun da yasan tana so yayi amfani dashi

“Na hakura da karatun Kawu.”

Tace cikin wata karamar murya, saiya sake komawa fadan daya bari yana daukar lallashin daya dauka zaiyi tasiri a kanta.

“Ba zaki sake zuwa Maraken nan ba tunda baki da hankali Mero.”

A daren da yayi wannan furucin, safiyar Mero ta sulale tabar masa gidan, tana daga masa hankali tana kuma tuna masa girman amanarta da take a hannun shi. Saiya biyota har Maraken, saboda ta tabbatar masa zata zabi Julde ne akansu, kowanne hukunci zasu dauka akanta ba zaiyi wani tasiri ba.

“Yaran yanzun tsoro suke bani Musa, rayuwar mu da tasu ta bambanta, idan suna son abu babu wanda ya isa ya tankwara su… Yana sonta, da kaina nayi masa magana yace aurenta zaiyi. Ni da mai mu godewa Allah da ya ajiye halayen da muke ganin katanga ne da bashi aurenta a gefe, ya nemi mallakarta ta hanyar da duka ba zamuyi dana sani ba…”

A fuskar Musa zakaga ba haka yaso ba, akwai yaron amintaccen abokin shi da yake ta nuna alamar yana son Mero, yaro dan boko, Baban ma ya fadawa Musa ya samu aikin koyarwa a garin Kaduna. Wanda ya taso a kauye ya samu cigaba na barin kauyen zuwa rayuwar da tafi ta cikin shi inganci abin ayi masa murna ne. Sai ita? Da ta tashi a birni zata jajibawa kanta zaman kauye? Kauyenma da yaron da bincike ya nuna ko ilimin muhammadiya ma bashida wadatar shi balle kuma na zamanin. Ta kowacce fuska a ganin Musa, Mero ba sa’ar auren Julde bace ba.

Kasancewar shi dan kauye ma bashi bane abu mafi girma, halayen shi da basu da kyau sunfi komai tashin hankali.

“Idan bai riketa bafa? Baabuga idan ya sakkota?”

Musa ya tambaya, jinjina kai Baabuga yayi.

“Nayi wannan tunanin, amman ya zamuyi? Sai mu dauki hakan shima a cikin kaddararta kamar haduwa dashi, gara komai ya faru karkashin inuwar aure, idan bai riketa ba, babu wanda zaiki aurenta, illar da take cikin kin aura mata shi tafi ta aura mata shi tashin hankali.”

Zabine sukayi mai wahala, daga Baabuga har Musa, zabin da yake wa iyaye da yawa wahala. Saboda suna hango abinda yaran basa hangowa, suna hango musu zaman aure da mutanen da tsarin rayuwar su gabaki daya basu dorashi a nagartacciyar hanya ba, a cikin wannan hangen nesa sai su kasa ganin abinda yake kusa dasu, yake gab da fuskar su, amman idanuwan su sunyi nisan kiwo. Zabin na yaran ne, a wannan matakin nasiha, kokarin fahimtarwa shine na iyayen, idan har yaran suka cigaba da toshe kunnuwan su da rufe idanuwan su daga hasken da ake ta nuna musa. Sai abar su da duhun, sai abarsu su dandana duk wani firgici da tashin hankali da yake cikin duhun, da kansu zasu miko hannuwa suna neman taimakon iyayen da suka ture daga farko.

Zabi ne da Datti ya kasa, ya kasa akan Yelwa da Kabiru, ya kasa barinta tayi kuskuren da yake tunani, ko babu komai kuskuren natane, a wasu matakai na rayuwa, duk yanda iyaye zasu so, duk kumajin su, duk shige da ficensu ba zasu iya kare yaransu daga wani kuskuren ba, sai dai su tsaya tare dasu bayan aikata kuskuren, su tayasu gyara shi idan mai gyaruwa ne, su tayasu tabbatar da basu sake maimaita irin shi a karo na biyu ba, ko kuma su tayasu daukar nauyin kuskuren da suka aikata. Saiya nemi hada lokacin auren Julden da sauran kwanakin da suka rage ma na Yelwa.

Sai daren auren yazo ma gabaki dayansu a birkice. Cike kuma da taraddadin inda Yelwa ta tafi saboda bayan kayan jikinta da kuma mayafinta bata dauki ko da allura ba. Daga yammacin zuwa daren babu inda ba’a duba ba a cikin kauyen Marake, wanda ma yaganta ba’a samu ba. Haka suka waye gari cikin wannan tashin hankalin da bai hana daura auren Julde da Mero ba, saboda Datti yace a daura, wani abu ko guda dayane ya tafi akan yanda suka tsara ranar. Amman yininta ma anyi shine wajen karade makotan kauyen nasu cikin nema da kuma cigiyarta. Babu wani labari, haka Datti ya shigo cikin gidan yana kallon Dije da ta dago kanta ta kalle shi.

Su duka kaman an ninka musu shekarunsu saboda tashin hankali, kafafuwan shi na rawa ya karasa wajenta, ya riko hannunta, hawayen shi na rigan nata zubowa. A karo na farko yana dora ayar tambaya akan abinda yayi mai zafi haka.

“Wanne zunubi na aikata Dije? Me nayi haka? Soyayyar da nake musu laifi ce?”

Yake fadi numfashin shi na wani irin fita kamar mai cutar numfashi. Kaf Marake babu wanda zai taba fahimtar tashin hankalin da suke a lokacin sai wanda ya taba shiga kwatancin halin da suke ciki, wanda ya taba rasa yaro ta hanyar mutuwa ya kuma duba gabas da yamma, kudu da arewa yana rasa wani yaron, wannan karin ta hanya mafi wahala. Saboda a tare da mutuwa babu taraddadi, a tare da mutuwa idan ka kalli kofa sai dai a wautar tunani, kasan ka fita da gawa, ka saka a kabari kabi da kasa, ba kuma zata fito ta dawo ba. Hakuri ba zabi bane ba, dole ne.

Yanzun fa? Ta ina zasu fara? Hakuri ba zabi bane ba yanzun, babu shima a cikin abinda yake faruwa dasu. Yelwa ce, ina zataje? Yelwa da a cikin Marake ma ba ko ina ta taba takawa ba. Ina zasu fara nemanta?

Sai dai wannan kaddarar da tafiyarta ta fara, wadda dawowarta zata dasa tafi wannan.

*****

Godiya
Ban hakuri
Ga iyaye
Addu’ar karin lafiya, kwanaki masu albarka da juriya
A lokutta mabanbanta
Lokuttan da muke rufe ido daga hango abinda kuke nuna mana
Lokuttan da muke bijirewa zabinku don son zuciyoyin mu

Idan rayukan ku sun baci
Ku yafe mana kamar ko yaushe
Kamar yanda shekarun da suke nunawa a tare damu basa nunawa a idanuwanku
Basu da tasiri a zuciyoyinku inda har abada zamu kasance yara kanana da suke bukatar dukkan kariyarku

Idan mun kasa fahimtarku, ku fahimce mu
Idan mun kasa yi muku uzuri kuyi mana
Ko mun nuna
Ko bamu nuna ba
Har abada, har numfashin mu na karshe bamu da kamar ku.