Duk yanda ake fada mata rashin tabbaci na rayuwa bata taba yarda ba, idan misali akayi mata da mutuwa sai wasu tambayoyin su cunkushe mata, ko idan mai lafiya ya shiga halin rashinta, mai dukiya ya rasa dukiyarsa, sai a dinga fadin rayuwa kenan, bata da tabbas. A cikin wannan abubuwan bata ga dalilin da za’a kira rashin tabbaci ba, rai ne dai kowa yasan bakone a duniya, iya lokacin da aka dibar masa na bakunta yake jira, haka dukiyar, itama aro ce aka baiwa wasu zababbun mutane, lafiyar ma haka. Babu abin mamaki don an rasa daya a ciki, daman tun farko ansan da rashin tabbacin su.

A cikin jerin abubuwan da Mero bata dorawa rashin tabbaci ba shine auren Julde, duk yanda kowa yake da shakku akai, duk irin maganganun da aka dinga fada mata tana saka kafafuwa tana turewa, duk irin yanda halayen shi basu sauya ba kamar yanda tayi tsammani. Da hannuwan shi akan fuskarta, idanuwan shi a cikin nata ya ce,

“Ina son ki Mero, halayena nawa ne, kar rashin canza su ya sa ki dauka son ki bai kai bane ba, ina son ki, ko na miki laifi karki manta ina son ki, ko da ban fada miki kullum ba, ko da wasu ranakun ban nuna miki a aikace ba, ina son ki, a kowanne yanayi zamu tsinci kanmu Mero, sonki na daga cikin abinda nake ji zai kasance tare dani har karshen rayuwata ko da komai ya barni.”

Kalaman shi suka zauna mata, kamar yanda bata manta da amsar da ta bashi ba.

“Halayenka ne karshen abinda zan duba a zamantakewar mu, zuciyata taka ce, kasani. Kowa da ya isa dani ya sani, saboda akan soyayyar ka na fara nuna musu basu isa dani ba, halayenka ba zasu sa in barka ba, yanda basu sakani kin fara rayuwa da kai ba.”

Ashe bashi kadai ta yaudara ba harda kanta, harda zuciyarta da bata taba hango mata halayen shi zasuyi muni ba, basu taba hango mata bakar ranar da zata kafa mata tarihin da bata fatan ya maimaita kanshi ko da a mafarkinta ne.

“Kanwar mahaifiyata, Julde…”

Muryarta ta koma cikin kunnenta da wani irin yanayi, kamar ruhinta ya bar jikinta ya koma gefe yana son gangar jikinta kadai ta tabbatar da abinda ta gani. Tunda Talatu tazo gidan kwanaki biyu da suka wuce bata da sukuni, ta daina zama tsakar gida saboda haka kawai take son takaita ganin da Talatu zatayiwa Julden. Sai dai yau din girki ya zagayo kanta, bata da wani zabi, tare da Talatu suka fito da safe duk kuwa yanda tayi fama da ita akan zatayi aikinta ita kadai, duk kwana biyun da tayi ai ita kadai take musu girkin da zasu ci, bata ga dalilin da yau din zata tsiri son tayata ba.

Yanda ta sake kasa da murya da suka gaisa da Julde ya mata wani iri, ta daga kai ta kalli Julde, sai dai idanuwan shi akanta suke, ya hade girarshi waje daya cikin wani yanayi da take yawan gani a fuskar Salim idan tayi masa magana, kamar a takure yake, kamar yana so ya roketa da ta ganshi taki ganin shi, ta ganshi karta kula shi. Abinda bata sani ba shine ba’a gidanta Julde ya fara ganin Talatu ba, yana da rike fuskokin mutane, shisa yana shigowa ya ganta yasan bashi bane karon shi na farko. Duk da akwai sauyi a tare da ita, wannan Talatun ta kara wayewa.

Kwana yayi yana tunanin inda ya taba ganinta, sai washegari da yazo fita ta tare shi tana dube-dube kar Mero ta fito, cikin hanzari tace mishi.

“Ba bafullatanin J-town bane? Ko bakai bane na taba gani a dakinta?”

Rabata yayi ya wuce, kwakwalwar shi nayi masa tariyar dararen shi a sabon gari, a tsakanin dakunan matan da yayi mu’amala dasu, yana tuna J-town, wata yarinya yar garin Jos da akewa laqabi da sunan garin da ta fito din. Ya tuna inda ya santa yanzun, don ta matsa daf da inda yake zaune a dakin J-town ta dora kanta a kafadarshi tana riko hannun shi, ta sauke murya tana fada masa kalaman da yake tsammanin dasu take amfani wajen karkatar da hankulan maza akanta, su sake mata jikinsu da bakin aljihunsu tayi yanda ta ga dama dasu.

Ba zaice batayi masa ba, itama macece, kuma kamar ko da yaushe yana so yaji ta inda ta bambanta da sauran, shisa ya biye mata. A ranar ya sake sanin kishi irin na matan bariki, yanda sukayi baram-baram da J-town har ana rirrike su zasu gwabza su gwada karfi. Ya dauke mata kaine saboda a karo na biyu da muryar nan da take manne dashi ta rada masa son sake kasancewa da Talatu, ya manta yanda take, yanzun da yake neman mace irin Mero, kowama bi yakeyi batare da dogon tunani ba.  Amman Talatu na da alaka da Mero, duk da har yanzun bata fayyace masa ya alakar tasu take ba.

“Ina bakuwar ki?”

Ya gwada tambayarta, yanda ta amsa masa kamar bataso bakinshi ya sake furta wata magana data danganci Talatu yasa shi fasa tambayar yanda suke da ita. Tunda kusan kowa da yake gidan Kawunta ya sansu a bakinta, ya kuma ga wasu. Amman bai tabajin ta ambaci Talatu ba, watakila halayen Talatun ne dalili. Ya kudiri niyyar kaucewa duk wata hanya da zata hadashi da Talatu har lokacin da zata bar gidan tunda yasan bashida iko da halinshi, sanda zaiyi wani abin da zai iya ja masa matsala ba zai sani ba sai bayan ya aikata.

Sai dai lokacin da kake kaucewa abu, lokacin yake kokarin kusantoka. Wannan tsautsayin ne yake bibiyar shi tun safe, da nauyin jiki ya tashi kamar ba zai fita ba. Saratu ta tambaye shi unguwa, ya dauki kudi ya bata, tun sanda zai fita da safe yaga tana ta shiri abinta. Bata cika shisshige mishi kamar da ba, auren shi da Mero ya canza abubuwa da yawa a tsakaninsu, kamar ta rage fada, ta rage magana, ta rage kula dashi, ta rage abubuwa da yawa da bai san ya saba dasu ba sai bayan ta janye masa haka. Idan ya kalleta kamar yau sai yayi kewar wadannan abubuwan.

Sabo abune mai wahala, ko itace da girki tana iya kawo masa abinci tace masa zata duba yara, sai ya bita wasu ranakun sannan zata dawo masa, yana iyajin tana kokarin tashi ta koma dakinta, sai idan ya riketa ya hanata fitane.

“Kamar bakyason kasancewa dani yanzun Saratu…”

Ya taba fada a wani dare da ya kasa hakuri da rashin kulawarta.

“Mu biyu gareka Julde. Kuma yaushe ka fara damuwa a abinda nake so ko bana so? Ba kayi auren soyayya ba? Karka damu dani, mu cigaba da zamanmu yanda muka saba.”

Bayajin surutu daya fada mata ba haka suka saba zamansu ba, bata saba share shi ba, komin yawo ko fadan da sukayi, ko da ba’a jikinshi ba, a gado daya suke kwana.

“Yaushe zaki dawo?”

Ya tambaya, kallon shi takeyi da mamaki a fuskarta, kamar ba zata amsa ba ta ce.

“Sai da yamma, zan biya inyi kitso.”

Kai ya jinjina yana mata sallama, da Talatu bata nan, yanda yakejin jikinshi yayi masa nauyi haka. Haidar zai dauka ya kaishi wajen Daada, ya dawo ya wuni manne da Meron shi. To itama tace masa zata danje gidan Baabuga, ba jimawa zatayi ba, dubiya zatayi ta dawo. Shisa kanshi tsaye yayo gida wajen sha biyu na rana da nufin ya kwanta ya danyi bacci ko zaiji dadin jikin shi. Da yaga gidan a bude ya dauka ta fita harta dawo, da sallama ya shiga, yaga tsakar gidan babu kowa, kuma ba’a amsa mishi ba, saiya bude dakin shi ya shiga. Kayan jikin shi ya rage ya karasa kan gado ya kwanta yana maida numfashi hadi da lumshe idanuwan.

Da yaji an tura dakin ma, bai bude idanuwan shi ba, a tunanin shi Mero ce, wani numfashi ya sauke yana mika hannun shi.

“Yau banajin dadin jikina Mero.”

Ya furta, yana bude idanuwan shi babu shiri lokacin da ta saka hannunta cikin nashi, saboda yaji ba Mero bace ba, ba yatsunta bane ba, zai gane su a cikin dubban mata ko da idanuwan shi a rufe suke. Yanda idan ta sakala su cikin nashi yakan jisu cif-cif, kamar an auna ne kafin a halitta mata su, dai-dai rikon shi, tsayinsu yanda zasu kwanta a cikin nashi ya rike yana wasa dasu, yana kallon fararen kumbuarta da baka rabawa da jan lalle. Kokarin fisge hannun shi yake, saita zauna kan gadon, jikinta yana taba nashi da yaji ya mutu murus.

“Meye haka Talatu? Me yake damunki?”

Murmushi tayi, idan tace ba da nufin tazo taga mijin da Mero ta aura ta shigo Marake ba zatayi karya. Tun ranar da suka hadu ta gansu, taga kyawun da suka kara kamar ba’a karkara suke ba take son taga wanda ta aura haka. Mero bata da muni, amman kuma bata da kyawun da Haidar zai biyo haka, yaro bulbul dashi, ga hanci, ga idanuwa, ga wani danbaki karami kamar an shafa mishi jambaki. Kowa Mero ta aura me kyaune, dansu ya nuna haka, kuma yanayin sutturarsu da yanda take ta ciro kudi tana bayarwa ana siyo musu abin bukata, ba wa kanta da yaron ba kawai harda yan cikin gidan ya tabbatar mata da ba mai rufin asiri bane ba, maikudi ne.

Sai dai bata hango Julde bane ba, wannan danfulanin da taso kwacewa a hannun J-town wasu yan shekaru baya. Ta hango ta rikitashi da salonta, ta yaudare shi da kissosin da ta koya har sai ya bar matar shi idan yana da ita ya nemi aurenta, saboda yana da kyau, yana da wani irin kyau da ta kwana biyu bata ci karo da mai irin shi ba. Ta ga ya daina yin kitso da gashin shi yanzun, amman lokacin da ta ganshi akwai kitso akan shi, kitson daya kara masa kyau. Yanzun da ta ganshi babu kitson kuma sai taga kamar yafi kyau, ya kara girma, shekarun sunbi jikinshi sunyi wata irin kwanciya data kara fito da halittar shi ta cikakken namiji.

Sai bata sake ganin shi ba, har tayi aure bayan haduwar su yakan kutsa cikin tunaninta lokaci zuwa lokaci, zai wahala ka hadu dashi ka manta shi da wuri, komai nashi mai tsayawa a raine, ciki harda yanayin mu’amalar shi da ta jima bata goge mata ba. Bata sa ran irin wannan haduwar zasu sakeyi ba. Me yasa Mero zata dinga samun komai ne haka? Me yasa komai zai dinga tafiyar mata dai-dai? Shisa ta tsaneta tuntuni, a makaranta ta kasance mai kokari, kuma duk yanda zata gallaza mata da wahala kaga hawaye a idanuwanta, sai tayi da gaske take ganin gazawar Mero. Ta biyo mahaifiyarta da har yanzun kowa yake yabon halayenta, da ko bayan rasuwarta basu daina kwatancen halinta da duk wani abu da Talatun zatayi ba, duk da ita batayi wayan saninta sosai ba.

Da gaske har ranta bata son Mero, so take taga wani abu ya hargitse mata ko yaya ne. Ashe zata samu dama haka.

“Ganinka ya tunamun da abubuwa da yawa Julde…kasan yanda na dade ban manta ka ba kuwa? Yanda ka jima a tunani na, ashe zan sake ganinka?”

Duka maganar nan tanayi ne cikin wani irin sauke murya da ya kara kashe masa jiki. Mace, in dai macece baisan yanda zaiyi da jikinshi akanta ba, ya rasa abinda yake damun shi haka. So yake ya tureta daga jikinshi da take ta sake shigewa, kamshinta ya cika masa hanci, duk ta lakaikaye shi, tana sake dumtsa hannunta da yake cikin nashi har lokacin. Ba zaice ga abinda ta cigaba da fada ba, ba zaice ga lokacin da jikin shi ya fara amsa mata ba. Ya manta komai, babu komai cikin kanshi sai yanayin nan da yakan shiga duk idan ya kebance da mace, yanayin da yake danne komai da kowa, yanayin son sanin yanda take, son gane bambancinta da sauran mata.

Shisa baiji shigowar Mero ba, baiji tura dakin da tayi ba.

“Kanwar mahaifiyata Julde…”

Muryarta ta ratsa ilahirin dakin da jikin shi, kafin komai ya tsaya cak, ya kasa motsi, har ta kwance Haidar da yake goye a bayanta ta ajiye shi, ta karasa cikin dakin sosai tana bambaro Talatu da take mata murmushi daga jikinshi da wani irin karfi da bata san tana dashi ba, ta wanke mata fuska da marin da ya gigitata. Kiciniyar kwacewa takeyi amman rikon da Mero tayi mata bana wasa bane ba, a girman jiki ta fita, haka a shekaru, shisa wannan karfin nata yake bata mamaki, sau nawa tana zaneta.

“Mijina? Duk abubuwan da kike so ki hada dani tun tasowata bai isheki ba, saida kika biyoni kina son hada miji dani, ubanme na tsare miki? Me nayi miki haka?”

Mero take fada cikin fitar hayyaci, ashe labarin haukan kishin mata da takeji wasa ne, danyen aikin da take tur dashi idan ance sun aikata sanadin kishi, tsari ya kamata ta nema dashi tunda gata yau idonta ya rufe, abinda zata illata Talatu take nema, ta shaketa tana jijjigawa tana kai mata duka duk inda zata samu a jikinta. Dakyar Julde ya iya mikewa yana rike Mero ya samu ya kwaci Talatu da ta fice daga dakin da gudu, bakinta da hancinta duk sun tara jini, sai dai dawa Allah ya hada Mero idan ba Julde ba.

“Me nayi maka? Ban so ka ba? Ban baka dukkan zuciyata ba? Banyi hakuri da matan da kake bi a waje ba? Sai ita? Kanwar mahaifyata? Kanwarta? Wacce macece ba zaka bi ba Julde? Ka fadamun idan akwai macen da ba zaka iya bi ba idan kaganta!”

So yake ta nutsu, amman takiya, duka take kai masa inda duk ta samu, ga wani irin kuka da takeyi kamar zata shide, jikinshi babu inda baya bari saboda bai taba ganin tashin hankali irin wanda yake gani ba yanzun, saiya daina kokarin riketa da kare dukan da take masa, kamar hakan take jira ta sake shi.

“Ba zan iya ba, na hakura da kai, ko kai kadai ka rage a duniya na hakura da kai Julde, ko sonka zai kasheni na hakura da kai.”

Tayi maganar tana juyawa ta nufi inda kayan shi suke ta dauko wata jaka ta zazzageta, sai take kara daukar kayan da ta zazzage tana mayarwa cikin jakar, rabi sun shiga, rabi basu shiga ba ta jata tana fitowa tsakar gidan da ita, Julde na binta da kallo kamar wanda aka dasa a wajen, ya kasa motsawa.

“Ga mijinki nan Saratu, ba zan iya zama dashi ba.”

Take fadawa Saratu da ta shigo gidan, don ta biyo, bata samu mai kitson ba, shisa ta yanke shawarar dawowa gida, kallon Mero tayi, bata taba ganinta a hargitse irin yau ba, duk kuwa da kaya a jikinta harma da hijabi. Jakar da take hannun Mero ta fara kallo, sai ta sake kallonta.

“Kema da kin hada jakarki zaifi miki alkhairi…”

Cewar Mero, sai dai idanuwan Saratu yabar kan Mero, ya koma kan babbar robar da Meron take zuba ruwa a ciki, da abinda taga yana yawo akai, kafin zuciyarta ta tsinko har tafukan kafafuwanta da taji suna barazanar daukarta.

“Mero…”

Ta kira cikin wata irin murya, batasan ko dan yau bane karo na farko da Saratu ta kira sunanta ko kuma yanayin muryarta bane ba yasa taji ta fisgota daga duniyar tashin hankalin da Julde ya jefata, hankalinta ya dawo jikinta lokaci daya.

“Mero…”

Ta sake kira idanuwanta akan robar ruwan, inda take kallo Mero ta juya ta kalla, zuciyarta ta tsaya na wasu dakika, kafin ta cigaba da dokawa da wani irin yanayi da bana lafiya bane ba, taku biyu tayi, ta tsaya, ta sake takawa, ta tsaya, ba zatace da rarrafe ko da kafafuwanta ta karasa ba, ta ganta a tsugunne bakin robar ne, ta saka hannuwanta cikin ruwan da sanyin shi ya ratsata da wani irin yanayi, ta ciro Haidar, ba don ta taba ganin gawa ba, ko ta riketa da hannunta, amman kallo daya tayiwa fuskar shi tasan babu rai a jikin shi.

Da ta tako kafafuwanta a cikin gidan Julde a matsayin mata, sai taji kamar an rusata ne an sake ginata.

Da suka raya darensu na farko tare da juna sai taji rayuwar su ta hade waje daya
Da ta shafa cikinta bayan ta san akwai ajiyarshi a ciki, sai zuciyarta ta sake hadewa da tashi.

Da ta rike Haidar a ranar farko, sai taga yanda jininta da nashi ya gauraya waje daya
Sai mafarkinta ya kara tsayi har tana hasaso har abadan din da zata kasance a tsakanin su.

Bata san ya ginata bane don ya kara rusata
A rana daya ta rasa shi
A rana daya ta rasa sauran abinda ya hada su

Sai ta kalle shi, ya fito daga dakin yana tsaye, ya kasa karasawa inda take.

“Yanda kayi mun rami a zuciya, in Allah ya yarda duk lokacin da kake tunanin hankalin ka ya kwanta sai Allah ya aiko abinda zai birkita maka komai Julde…”

Mikewa tayi da gawar Haidar a hannunta, tana jin zuciyarta kamar ta daskare a kirjinta, ta karasa har inda yake tsaye ta kamo hannuwan shi ta saka masa shi a hannun shi, wasu hawaye masu zafi na silalo mata.

“Ka datsemun igiyar da take daure damu Julde…idan na kara mintina a gidan nan mutuwa zanyi.”

Yanayin da yake gani a idanuwanta, kalamanta, gawar dan da bai taba yiwa soyayyar da yayi masa ba, duniyar duka da ta birkice mishi da wani sauyi da bai hango ba, muryar shi a nisance ta fito.

“Na sake ki.”

Numfashi taja, ta saki tana daga masa kai, komai bai dirar masa ba sai da yaga ta nufi kofa, yaga tana shirin ficewa daga gidan.

“Mero”

Ya kira, bata juyo ba, bata da alamar zata juyi din don sauri ta kara, binta yayi da gawar Haidar a hannun shi yana kiran sunanta har waje. Ta tsaya tana juyowa tana kallon shi da gawar da ya rike a kirjin shi.

Babu wani abu da ya rage a tsakanin su
Ya rabata da kanshi
Ya ruguzata ta hanyar da batajin zata taba komawa dai-dai
Ta rasa komai yau!

Tana can tana hauka akanshi har danta ya fita, tasan Haidar, yana da kazarniya, tunda ya fara rarrafe ko wanka takeyi masa saiya kama bokitin ya mike, burin shi ya shiga ciki. Yana son ruwa, doguwar maganar farko da Saratu tayi mata randa ya fita daga daki tana sallah ne, kuma shine karo na farko da Saratu ta taka har kofar dakinta tana daga mata labule, ta ajiye mata Haidar da yake a jike sharkaf da ruwa.

“Idan sallah zakiyi ki goya shi, ki daina barin shi ya illata kanshi babu kowa a tsakar gida.”

Ko godiyar da tayi nufin yi bata furta ba Saratu ta juya tabarta a wajen, ashe ruwan da yake so, ruwan da ko a kofi ya gani saiya dauka ya sheka a jikinshi ne zai zamo ajalin shi.

“Don Allah ka kyaleni Julde, karka biyoni, karka nemeni, Haidar din daya rage a tsakaninmu gashi nan a hannunka.”

Bai jita ba, binta yayi yana rikota, ta kuwa juyo ta wanke shi da mari, bai damu ba

“Mero don Allah, ba zaki barni ba…”

Ya fadi yana dorawa da.

“Kince mun ni da ke har karshe, shisa na saki jikina Mero, kince halaye na ne karshen abin da zaki duba, me yasa? Me yasa sai da na saki jiki zaki bar ni da kai na?”

Hadi da sake rikota, ta shiga kokarin fisgewa tana wani irin kuka da yake fitowa daga lungun zuciyarta. Baya ganin komai sai ita, shisa baiga mutanen da suke fara taruwa ba, baiga yanda matan unguwar keta lekowa ba, ana kallon su. Balle kuma hayaniyar da akeyi, bayaji baya gani, hankalin shi kacokan yana kan Mero.

“Me kayi mata Julde?”

Muryar Datti ta dirar masa, kafin hannun shi daya riko ma Julden kafada, juyowa yayi har lokacin yana rike dam da hannun Mero.

“Baba ka bata hakuri.”

Kai take girgizawa, idan bai saketa ba, tabbas numfashinta na gab da tsayawa, so take tabar garin Marake a yau din nan, tayi nisa da Julde da duk wani abu daya taba hadata dashi.

“Ka sakeni… Baba kace ya sakarmun hannu don Allah.”

Mero ta karasa fadi tana samu dakyar ta fisge hannunta, da hanzari tabar wajen, binta zaiyi muryar Datti ta tsayar dashi.

“Me kayi mata?”

Juyowa yayi yana kallon Dattin, zuciyarshi na kara rarrabewa a cikin kirjin shi, komai na hade masa waje daya.

“Bansan kanwar mahaifiyarta bace Baba.. Bansan alakar su ba… Kaga Haidar, baiyi motsi ba tun dazun…”

Yayi maganar da wani irin yanayi, kamar wanda ya samu tabin hankali, kallon shi Datti yakeyi.

“Yanda ka kunyata ni Julde… Allah ya kunyata ka a idanuwan mutanen da suka fi komai muhimmanci a wajenka… Nagode kaji.”

Cewar Datti yana juyawa, kirjin shi kamar an dora dutse yakeji, sai Julde ya bishi, yana ture mutane batare daya damu mata bane ko maza, har cikin gida inda ya samu Dije a tsaye.

“Daada kinji me Baba yace? Haka yace Allah ya kunyata ni a idanuwan mutanen da suka fi komai muhimmanci a wajena… Ki bashi hakuri, ba zan kara ba, kinga Haidar ma baya numfashi, Mero ta tafi tabarni, ki basu hakuri Daada, na daina, ki basu hakuri.”

Karasowa tayi ta karbi Haidar din da yanayin shi ya tabbatar mata da gawace, dankwalin kanta ta kwance tana kwantar dashi ta dago, wani irin numfashi Julde yake fitarwa kamar mai shirin shidewa, saita kama shi ta zaunar.

“Ba zan iya zama a garin nan ba Daada…tafiya zanyi…”

Ya karasa yana kallonta, ba zai iya dora dan yatsa akan abinda yake ji ba, wani irin hargitsi ne da ba zai taba misaltuwa ba, kalaman Datti da na Mero ne suka hade masa waje daya suna shiga wasu wajaje a jikin shi da baisan dasu ba, sosai Dije take kallon shi, sai taji wani fili a inda yake a zuciyarta shima, kamar yanda Bukar da Yelwa suka bari.

Haihuwa jarabawa ce.
Kamar yanda rashinta ma yake jarabawa

Sai dai bata hango yau ne mafarin sauran hargitsin da itama zai rabata da tushenta ba!