Wasa yake da hannunshi akan kujerar jirgin da yake zaune, zaiso ace hannun Sa’adatu ne yake rike dashi, amman taja hannun nata da yake ta gefenshi ta dafe cikinta dashi, tun a hanyar komawarsu hotel daga asibiti, tayi wani irin sanyi, duk da ba zaice yasanta ba, amman anya tana yin sanyi haka? Yana daga cikin dabi’arta kuwa? Ga wani nisantaccen yanayi shimfide akan fuskarta kamar wadda aka daga aka jijjiga aka sauketa ta kai, sannan aka sake dagata aka ajiye saman kafafuwanta. Idan zai fassara kalmar da yakeji tana masa yawo cikin kai zai iya cewa Sa’adatun da ya sani tunda ya fara gani ta bace bat, kamar ba ita bace ta rungume shi daren jiya, kamar ba ita bace ya samu ta saka sabuwar wayarta a gaba tana jira cajin ya nuna ya cika, shikuma ya samu waje ya zauna yana lalacewa wajen kallonta.

Da cikar wayar, da kunnata, da ma mayar da abubuwan tsohuwar wayar Sa’adatu zuwa sabuwar, tayata saita komai ya daukesu awanni, lokacin da suka kwanta ma karfe daya saura, ya saka filo a tsakaninsu kamar jiya, amman kusan shi kadaine ma yasan da zamanta a gefenshi, ita dai a jiyan babu komai da take gani banda sabuwar wayarta.

Duk juyin da zaiyi idan ya bude idanuwan shi saiya ganta tana danne-danne. Saida ya fisge wayar ya ajiye a gefenshi dan ta samu bacci, ta kuma samu, shi dai baiyi na kirki ba, haka ya dinga farkawa kamar wanda ake biyowa a cikin baccin nashi. Da kuma tarin dokin wayar ta tashi, tana karyawa da safe tana dannawa, haka har a hanyarsu ta zuwa asibitin ma. Sai dai kuma lokacin data fito sai yaga kamar ita din ta bace sai inuwarta.

Ko daya kama hannunta suka fita daga asibitin haka yake jin hannun yayi mishi wani iri, shisa ya sakar mata shi.

Tunda suka koma kuma saita kwanta a kujera, daya soma kokarin yi mata hira saita lumshe idanuwa alamar bacci zatayi. Yaji wani iri, saboda abune da bai saba dashi ba, ya nemi hira a nuna masa ba’a son hirar tashi irin yanda tayi. Saiya koma daki ya harhada musu duka kayayyakinsu cikin jakar da sukazo da ita. Abinci ma baiyi mata magana ba, kawai yayi order din abinda yayi masa ne, ya kuma ajiye mata nata akan teburin falon ya shige daki da nashi. Ga mamakin shi saiya kasa cin abincin kirki duk da yunwar da yakeji, tunanin dalilin canzawarta yakeyi ya rasa, ko dan an dasa mata kwanshine? Tunanin daukar cikin takeyi? Ya dauka tayi ta gama kafin ta amince da bukatarsu. Duka Sa’adatun nawa take? Wani sashi na zuciyarshi ya tambaya.

Shekarunta ya tuna, goma sha tara, ya kuma duba nashi, talatin da hudu harda wasu watanni. Ba shekaru kusan goma ya bata ba yanda yake tunani jiya, shekaru ne sama da goma.

Tabbas shekarunta shekarune daya kai matakin aure, tunda ana aurar da kananu ma da basu kaita ba, amman zurfin tunanin fa? Tana da hankalin da zatayiwa rayuwarta zabin da tayi? Sunyi mata adalci daga shi har Aisha da sukayi mata wannan tayin kuwa? Ta taba aure a baya, kuma sanadin auren ne harya ba wasu a cikin ‘yan uwanshi dalilin da zasuki shiya sake aurenta, to yanzun ga wani auren ta karayi na wucin gadi, idan ya kare kuma zai zamana aure biyu kenan, idan aure daya ya zama dalilin da za’aki amincewa da ita kai tsaye, me aure biyu yake nufi a rayuwarta? Da kananun shekarun nan? Wani bargon rashin adalci da kyautawa yaji ya lullube shi, kamar da sun hada da duba shekaru a cikin lissafinsu. Sai dai lokaci ya rigada ya kure yanzun.

Watakila batasan girman abinda ta amince dashi ba sai yanzun da taga yana faruwa da ita, shisa ya bata tazarar daya ga kamar tana bukata. Ko da lokacin tafiyarsu yayi haka ta dinga binshi duk inda yayi batare da tace masa komai ba. Hakama a filin jirgi yanda duk yayi da ita haka take binshi har suka shiga jirgin suka zauna a kujerunsu.

Yanzunma dan juyawa yayi ya kalleta, idanuwanta a lumshe suke, hannunta a saman cikinta, ji takeyi kamar ma akwai dan a ciki, tun a asibitin, duk abinda ta karanta ta kuma dauka ya shiryama zuciyarta karbar safiyar ranar, data jita kwance akan gado a dakin asibitin, da wata likita dauke da wani dogon karfe-karfe sai komai ya kwance mata, bayan angama mata abinda za’ayi mata kuma sai taji an taba wani sashi na rayuwarta ta fuskar da ba zai taba gogewa ba.

Watakila inda ita da Jabir ne suka samar da dan ba zataji komai ya dauke mata haka ba, tunda da aurensu, amman wannan hanyar, tanajin kamar tayi wani gagarumin laifi, kamar kuma ta aikatawa jikinta mummunan zunubin da za’a jima bai gafarta mata ba.

Jinta ta keyi kamar ba ita ba har yanzun, ga hannunta da batama san tana dafe da cikinta dashi ba, yanzun akwai kwan Jabir a cikin nata, a mahaifarta, kwan da akwai yiwuwar ya zama da, tasan meta yarda dashi lokacin da ta saka hannu a takardar nan, me yasa takejinta wani iri? Me yasa komai yakeyi mata kamar ta amince ne a mafarki, yanzun kuma ta farka amman babu halin gujewa abinda ta aikata. Zazzabine ma takejin alamun zai saukar mata.

Da suka karasa Kano, direba na airport din yana jiransu, babu bata lokaci suka shiga yaja su, tanajin Jabir na fada masa inda zai nufa dasu. Da ta fito daga motar taganta a cikin harabar gidanta bata tsaya jiran Jabir ba ta wuce ciki, tana kuma shigewa dakinta zuwa bayi dan tayi fitsarin da yake barazanar zubo mata tunda ta dade rike dashi, haka kawai ta kasa yi tun a Abuja, ji take kamar intaje fitsarin kwan zai iya fadowa. Yanzun ma data tashi sai ta tsinci kanta da lekawa ta duba sosai, bataga alamun akwai wani abu bayan fitsarin da tayi ba, ta danna abin jiki tana korashi da ruwa ta fito daga dakin, numfashi mai nauyi ta sauke ta dan zauna bakin gado tana rasa tunanin da ya kamata tayi, takai mintina biyar a zaunen kafin ta mike ta fita falon ko Jabir na can yana jiranta.

Sai dai bata ganshi ba, ta daiga kayanta ajiye akan kujera, alamar ya shigo harya rabasu da jakarshi ya kuma yi tafiyar shi. Sai taji wani yanayi mai kama da rashin jin dadi ya mamayeta. Ta dauki kayan tana komawa daki ta ajiyesu akan gado. Kiran sallar Magriba da taji yasa ta komawa bayi ta dauro alwala ta fito ta dauki hijabi babba tayi sallah, ta jima zaune bayan ta rokawa iyayenta gafara, ta rokawa yan uwanta rufin asiri da jinkiri mai albarka, saita rasa abinda zata rokawa kanta a yau. Wani irin kadaici dai takeji na ban mamaki, data samu tayi isha’i ta mike daga kan dardumar, inda take ajiye kudadenta ta nufa ta dauki dubu biyu, ta fice ta samu maigadi, bayan sun kara gaisawa ta bashi tace ko nashin ne yahau ya siyo biredi me kyau, a dai bashi sabo, tukunna ta koma cikin gida.

Yunwa takeji tunda ba wani abin kirki taci da rana ba, kuma a yanda batajin karfin jikinta ba girki zata iya ba. Kwai kawai ta soya mai dan yawa, ta dafa shayi da yasha kayan kamshi, ta samu wani dan karamin flask tayi hadin kauri kamar yanda zata sha, ta cikawa maigadi, daya dawo da biredin tace ya jirata a kofa, ta raba biyu ta saka wainar kwan ta dauki flask din ta mika masa. Ya dinga godiya yana rokama iyayenta jinkai, addu’ar da taji ta sanyaya mata zuciya ba kadan ba. Data koma ta hada nata shayin ta sha, taci biredin sosai haka wainar kwan ta cinye duka. Ta koma daki ta watsa ruwa ta sake kaya zuwa marassa nauyi, ta sake komawa falon ta kunna kayan kallo. Anan bacci ya dauketa kan kujera cike da mafarkan da duk yawansu kake kasa tantance ko daya a cikinsu idan ka farka.

*****

Bahaushe yace kwanci tashi asarar me rai, yau kwanansu takwas da dawowa daga Abuja. Kwanaki takwas da babu wani abu da zatace ya faru a cikinsu, zatayi bacci, ta tashi da safe, a yinin ranar akwai salloli, girki, kallo, danna waya, yin waya da wani a cikin yan gidansu, idan dare yayi kuma kallon ne, danna waya, bacci. Washegari kuma maimaci ne, rana daya ce kawai ta dan bambanta da sauran ranakun, saboda Jabir yayo mata aike, shine rana ta uku bayan dawowarsu, daya aiko aka kawo mata cefane, dasu nama, harda lemuka da kuma cash na dubu ashirin. Ta karbi kudin, ta kuma bude kofa ta matsawa direban ya shigar mata da duka kayayyakin cikin kitchen, taje ta kwashe komai tana sakawa a muhallin shi.

Ta kuma tura masa sako tayi masa godiya, sakon data dinga duba wayarta koya amsa matashi amman bai amsa ba, haka ko sau daya a cikin kwanakin bai kirata ba, bai kuma zo ba. Idan tana dai zaune tana yawan kai hannu ta taba cikinta, tana kuma yawan yin bincike duk da a binciken ta gano aqalla zata jira sati biyu kafin tayi gwajin ciki ta tabbatar akwai ko babu. Kuma tasan duk da ba’ayi mata bayanin nan a asibiti ba, ba za’a rasa yiwa Jabir ba, kilan kuma wadannan kwanakin yake jira su cika kafin yazo yaga idan yayi asarar kudadenshi ko baiyi ba. Haka kawai duk idan abin ya fado mata sai taji zuciyarta ta tsinke. Ranar na taran kuwa tunda ta tashi takejin mararta nayi mata ciwo kadan-kadan. Sai lokacin lissafin ranakun al’adarta yazo mata, data duba kwanan wata kuma sai taga ta kara kwana daya. Zuciyarta ta buga, ta sake bugawa. Ta dauki cikin kenan?

Wayarta ta janyo tana tafiya Google danyin bincike, ta kuma samu tabbacin ana ciwon mara a farkon daukar ciki, sosai kirjinta ya dinga bugawa har akayi la’asar, ta dinga tafiya a hankali tanayin komai da sanyin jiki, tanajin batason yin motsi mai yawa in harya zamana tana da cikin, dole zai bambanta da sauran cikin mata tunda yanayin da aka samar dashi ya bambanta. Sai dai alamar da taji ya sa bugun zuciyarta ya tsananta, da taje bandaki ta duba kuwa sai taga abinda tayi zatone. Tayi zaune a bandakin tanajin wani abu da batasan meye ba yana dukan zuciyarta. Ta dade sosai kafin ta iya tashi ta kintsa kanta ta fita ta kwanta a gado. Wannan yanayin bai barta ba, ta dauki wayarta, saboda haka kawai taji kamar ya kamata ace Jabir ya sani, hannuwanta taji suna rawa lokacin da ta budo lambar shi tana kokarin tura masa sako, ta rasa abinda zatace, kwan bai zama da ba? Har hasken wayar ya mutu bata samu wasu kalmomi ba, dan haka ta zabi tura guda daya kawai

“Period”

Ta kife wayar, tana fadawa kanta bata jiran amsar Jabir, in dai ya gani shikenan. Jabir da tunda suka dawo, yanda Aisha tayi kokarin nuna masa kamar babu wani sabani a tsakaninsu, saiya biye mata shima, bashida karfin yin rigima da ita, saboda ya tattara duka wani karfi da yake dashi wajen ganin ya nisanta kanshi da Sa’adatu, ya san in tana bukatar wani abu zata neme shi, ya kuma dinga fatan ko da bata bukatar wani abin ta neme shi, inta nemeshi zaije, ko sakon gaisuwa ta tura masa zai iya zama dalilin da zaije ya ganta. Amman bata tura masa ba, daman zuciyarshi dama duk wani abu mai motsi a tare dashi ya rigada ya gama bashi cewar wannan IUI (Intrauterine insemination) din da akayi ba wanda za’ayi nasara bane ba. Shisa yanzun da sakon Sa’adatu ya shigo bai bashi mamaki koya girgiza shi ba sam. Mamaki daya yakeyi, mamakin kanshi, da kuma abinda yakeji a kasan zuciyar shi, kamar murna ce, saboda hakan na nufin karin lokaci tare da Sa’adatu, lokacin da baisan dalilin da yasa yake so ya zarta na yarjejeniyar su ba.

Girgiza kanshi yayi kamar maison kauda tunanin daga ciki, ya mike. Saiya dinga zagaye-zagaye da mota yana rasa inda zai nufa. Aisha na wajen aiki, ya gama da kasuwa tun kafin la’asar. Yana wannan yawon Magriba tayi masa, ya samu waje ya ajiye motar a dai-dai wani masallaci yayi sallah, da aka idar saiya tsinci kanshi da nufar wani wajen siyar da abinci, ya siyi pizza da shawarma, sai yoghurt, ya nufi gidan Sa’adatu, yana tukin ne da wani nishadi marar misaltuwa, musamman daya ganshi a harabar gidan, haka ya fito daga mota ya dauki ledojin ya nufi gidan, daya kwankwasa bai jira komai ba ya murza kofar ya kuwa jita a bude, yana saka kafafuwan shi ya hangeta zaune, hannuwanta duka biyun cikin farantin da yake gabanta mai dauke da soyayyen kifi sai robar yaji a gefe.

Doguwar rigar bacci ce a jikinta mai santsi, kanta babu hula, labbanta da maikon daya tabbata na man kifi ne, murmushi ya kwace mishi, sai dai bata mayar masa da martani ba, asalima kanta ta mayar tana cigaba da zare kayar kifinta, saida yayi sallama ta amsa a sanyaye, murmushin me zaiyi mata? Sai yau da yaji kwanshi bai kyankyashe a cikinta bane ya tuna da ita ya kwaso kafafuwanshi yazo, fararen kafafuwan shi da sukayi kama da ana gyarasu a wajen wankin kafa saboda yanda duke tas-tas, kafafuwan data bi da kallo ta kasan idanuwa, ta dauka zai zauna akan kujera ne, shima abinda yayi niyya kenan, baisan ya akayi ya zauna a gabanta ba, ya lankwashe kafafuwanshi da yaji su wani iri saboda rashin sabo da zaman, in ba na sallah ba.

“Ina wuni”

Ta fadi, tanajin da bayanta ba jingine yake da kujera ba, akwai sarari data matsa, kusancinsu yayi mata yawa, farantin kifin nan ne kawai a tsakaninsu

“Yanzun kikayi tunanin ki gaisheni? Baki da lambata?”

Dagowa tayi tanason kallon fuskarshi dan ta jinjinawa karfin halin shi

“Kifi ne? Ina ci”

Ya sake fadi yana mikewa, ta bishi da kallo, kicin taga ya nufa, ya dawo dauke da cokali mai yan yatsu a hannun shi, numfashi ta sauke bayan ya zauna, gabaki daya ya cika wajen da kamshin shi, ya dishe na turaren data feshe jikinta dashi, batace masa komai ba ta bude robar yajin ta barbada a saman kifin data gyara. Itama kwadayi taji shisa ta soya, kuma irin kifin nan ne da ake kira da karfasa, da yawa tagani cikin siyayyar da ya aiko mata, ta soya guda biyu, yau kuma biyar ta soya ta sakawa maigadi daya a taliyar da tayi da miyar kaza. Kawai ita kifin kadai taji tana sonci shisa tazo tana gyarashi dan kayarshi tsoro take bata. Cokalin Jabir ya saka ya fara cin kifin hankalin shi a kwance, yayi masa dadi dan bai taba cin soyayye da yaji ba sai yau. Kafin Sa’adatu ta bar rayuwarshi abubuwa nawa zaici da baisan dasu ba?

“Ke ba zakici ba?”

Ya fadi ganin taci gaba da gyara kifin

“Zanci, inaso in gyara ne duka”

Kai ya jinjina mata yana cigaba daci, sai dai me lokacin data gama gyara guda uku tana na hudun, kuma na karshe, Jabir ya kusan cinyewa, kifin data gama kwallafa rai akai, duk da akwai a fridge amman wannan tun yamma ta fito dashi kankarar jiki ta saki, yaushe kankara zata saki jikin wancen, ta wanke ta fara kara soyawa da daddaren nan, kallon Jabir daya kara gyara zama tayi, batama san girarta ta hade waje daya ba saida ya kalleta yana fadin

“Menene? Me nayi?”

Saboda kallon tuhumar da yaga tanayi masa, ta kuma shawabe fuskarta kamar yarinyar data baka bude ledar biskit ka gutsira bayan ka bude mata, filet din kifin ya kalla, yana kula da ya kusa cinye mata, saiya ajiye cokalin

“Na cinye miki ko? Yunwa nakeji.”

Kallonshin dai takeyi, ba daga wajen matarshi yake ba, yana nufin baici abinci ba kome? Kai ta jinjina tana karasa gyara dayan kifin, ta kara yaji ta soma ci, Jabir kuma ya janyo ledojin daya shigo dasu ya dauko shawarma guda daya ya bude ya fara ci, sai dai kuma ranshi kifin yakeso, haka dai yaci rabi, ya mike ya dauko ruwa ya bude ya kurba yana kallon agogon dake falon, takwas saura

“Tafiya zanyi Sa’adatu, bakya bukatar komai?”

Kai ta girgiza masa, daman ai tasan ba zama zaiyi ba, akwai wani kwantaccen haushin shi da batasan daga inda yake taso mata ba

“Haushina kikeji? Me nayi miki?”

Cewar Jabir ganin taki kallon shi, ya tabbata ba kifin da yaci bane ba, tunda ya shigo ne tayi kicin-kicin da fuska

“Me zakayi mun? Kawai banajin dadine”

Saiya jinjina kai yana tuna Aisha ma haka takeyin wannan yanayin in tana al’ada, saida safe yayi mata yana ficewa. A hanya yayi magana da likita yana mishi bayanin halin da ake ciki, sukayi dashi zasu sake magana zuwa washegari, haka ya tsaya yayi isha’i tukunna ya wuce gida. Aisha ta dawo amman yaji alamar motsi a bandaki, ya fito ya dawo falo ya zauna yana danna wayar shi, WhatsApp daya shigane yaga lissafin kwanakin daya rage watan azumin Ramadan ya kama, sauran kwanaki talatin da biyu. Addu’ar fatan riskar watan cikin aminci yayi a ranshi. A lokaci daya kuma wani tunanin na darsar masa.

Me zai hana su bar komai sai bayan sallah kawai? Su fuskanci shirye-shiryen tarbar wata mai albarka, in yaso bayan sallah sai su koma Abujan, hakan zaifi kawai

Hakan zaifi ko zai kara maka lokaci tare da Sa’adatu?

Wata murya ta fadi a zuciyarshi, cike da tuhuma

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